Mother Must I?

Latest Dernier Cri*

Guess what Sunday is darling boys and girls- ladies and gents? It is Mother's Dayyyyyy!!! And unlike every other holiday it is not the one where you can say, "isn't every day Mother's Day?" because the answer is, hell no- it.is.not.  I am actually confused and maybe you can help me.  What am I supposed to do on Mother's Day? Do I hang out with my children and go to the club, take a nice cold flat-lining dip into the pool with my three kids with their puddle jumpers on -who seem to have the skin of a sea lion and eat chicken "fingers" at the grill? The french fries are divine btw... Do I invite the in-laws and and my mother and father and have a big train wreck of a lunch with the kids at a restaurant- Where my nerves are in a kitten ball because Charlie ate a plate of ketchup off my new Gucci dress, Beau slapped the waitress on her ass, and Tallulah decided that in order to become completely invisible to all of us was to refuse to get out of the car.  Charming bunch... That's a lot like Christmas, but they are our Mother's and that feels so right to have them with me and I love them.   My sister is a single mother and her angelic child is like my fourth- so she has to come.  She is also my bestie and makes all "holidays" more like the Madonna video than the real thing.  I don't know how all of this works and who wants to do what?  Do I do what I want which is get a 6-er, the book I have been reading for a year, and head for the dunes, maybe catch a movie?  Then I am sure I would get lonely and/ judged.  Isn't that crazy how that happens?  You get alone and then you miss the chaos, we are absolute masochist- ALL OF US.  Maybe there can be like a Manic Mama Monday- where it's all the things you want to do for yourself to take care of yourself without the guilt. Which is crazy real.  Mother guilt and daughter guilt.  Southerners and Jews are the guiltiest feeling people on earth, it is a tie.  I have studied it intensely with my friends.  You can conduct a test if you do not believe me. What happened to the days where someone had a nice long table on a lawn outside under a tree and the kids played and everyone wore white and there was lots of red wine and old people, oh I think that's the Godfather.

what my life is typically like...this is old. so they are just bigger on the same couch.

So, lets talk gifts people.  This is a topic where anything can go.  If you are anything like me, I order my own things.  Only because I know I have to.  I have a last minute hustler of a husband and unfortunately he will bring something he found at the store on Friday and gift it to me on Sunday and it will be earrings made of genuine cotton.  You can see his heart was in it, but missed the spot just a bit.  But! when he is on point he is on point. Sometimes Herend and Hermes.  The sweetheart is so unpredictable it's bananas.  BUT! you can never have too much of the "H twins" and I'm not talking herpes.  My favorite gifts are the ones the kids make.  I love the questionnaires.  Especially when they don't know my first name and guess I am 5.  Once Tallulah said she loved riding trains with me and her favorite memory was when we rode horses.  Neither happened, but I love a dreamer.  So, for her next birthday we are taking a train to Danbury, Connecticut to pick out a mildly tempered Arabian with an unpronounceable name.  This year I bought myself a little gold bracelet with "Mama" on it.  Stella and Dot makes these and it was a breezy hundo. It is perfectly crafted and delicate just like the word engraved.  So true. I also bought a bottle of Vaniglia del Madagascar straight from the Farmacia SS Annunziata, which sounds like a prison I have been in, but is actually a company that specializes in perfumes or parfum and dates back to 1561in Firenze, Italia.  It is delightful, light and takes me back to a place that I lived and studied for some time in my late teens and early twenties.  I feel like such an idiot saying parfum, do you? I have recently fallen head over heels for designer Jules Reid brought to my attention by fellow blogger and pal Teggy French (you must check out her blog).  I bought myself a 4 dresses too.  I cannot wait to show them off for you because they are unique and vintage inspired with a West Palm -60's twist.  I just want to climb into a Slim Aaron's photograph and just- you know, fit right in.  Needless to say, I'm good and I have informed the husband- no gifts I handled it like a mother.

A Jules Reid embroidered caftan coming my way Mamasita's

Hope my dresses get here before the big day!!! 

It's Alex Weichart aka Teggy French in Jules Reid- Isn't she rosy!

Mother's Day is not just for women with children, if you have a dog, a cat, or even a rat,which,  I learned are extremely clean animals especially when kept domestically (not gotta happen)you are a mom.  Not everyone can have children, wants children, or considers their children that are human beings to be their "kids"  You mama's out there with fur babies are just as crazy about your little Cocka-Poo named Puddles as I am with my own kids. So here's to you.  And to you wounded warriors who brave every day without your mother, may God bless you and comfort you.  My heart is heavy as a cinder block thinking about it, but as you grow I pray you make new memories with your children and husband, puppy or wife and look graciously at your cherished memories, and celebrate the day exactly the way your mother would have wanted it.  You are my heroes.
To "MOTHER'S" wherever you may be or whoever you are with this year, I hope someone whispers in your ear you smell like sunflowers, or that you're prettier than pinecones.  I hope that someone takes up for you because you didn't deserve to be treated like that dammit and someone rubs your back that way or puts your hair behind your ear because they want to see your pretty face. Just find a way if it is only for a moment to get yours.  I'll be at the theater seeing a movie, sun-burned on Monday with a beer buzz.

Godspeed and Happy Mother's Day,
Cha-cha











MY DREAM BRUNCH ENSEMBLE:

Templeton Purse to match my Charlotte' Web shoes.  Bag Kate Spade.

Charlotte's Web High Heels- by Charlotte Olympia  

Charlotte Tilbury Lipstick in Kiss Chase

Gucci Silk Floral Dress (pre-ketchup)

ps.  I have a iron lady mother, tough as nails, pretty as a picture, and mean as the dickens.  I would not mess with her, but I would not leave her alone either.  She is 18 at heart.  Has taken me to 15 different countries and other extravaganzas a girl could only dream of. She has spoiled me, but not rotten. I am grateful.  She believes in hardwork.  Although she likes to dictate it from the sidelines. She is outrageously creative and her sense of fashion is untouchable.  Sometimes when she is being a 5 on the manic scale I want to climb in bed with her and pop open some bubbles and watch indie movies with her eventhough I have to stop and explain it every five minutes.  Maybe place a few drunken Neiman orders for good measure, jk.  I love you Mama.

Iced Tea

Latest Dernier Cri*

It has been a long time Fillies and I apologize.  I was in the midst of bouncing one kid on one knee, warming another in the bakery, and discussing with God the intentions of a third.  All of that wrapped with a heavy dose of postpartum, being incredibly overwhelmed with how to even be a wife, keep my writing gig at a local magazine and being a good aunt, sister, daughter, friend, cook, house keeper, and look somewhat like a fashion stylist was damning.  I showered oncely, meaning once a week. I STILL sleep in the same clothes I wear the day before, and I am on my knees most of the time!!! scrubbing the floors with baby wipes people- that was a good one- haha. I am perpetually late. The gym is used for their giant neon clock outside to show me how late I am.   I am coming around and sitting here just writing this first post is my first step towards freedom.  Let me make myself clear.  I have a 2, 3.75, and a 5 year old.  I don't experience a lot of FREEDOM.  I yell a lot out of fear,  I am angry most of the time, and I am scared that something is going to happen to one of my kids while I allow them to just be free.  So, I sacrifice my freedom so they can have theirs.  I am a ball of anxiety, so they can run down a gravel hill as fast as batman, jump in a wave that will crush them, jump off a bed that will send their feet into their abdomen.  My loss of freedom is their laughter, tears, sweat, growth and pride.
Freedom aside, I would like to start with the one and only Beyonce Knowles Z.  If you don't know, which is crazy if you don't-she released Saturday April 23rd on HBO an 11 track video of her new album called none the less, the tangy, yet refreshing beverage: Lemonade.  Tracing an apparent story of infidelity all the way to its reconciliation.  The visual album was split into music videos offset by chapter titles, for example, "Intuition", "Denial", "Apathy", "Emptiness",  and finally "Resurrection."    Throughout these videos Bey would read poetry aloud from the exquisite must read Somali-British poet, Warsan Shire. And from what I have gathered someone named Becky better call Saul, because she is going to to need a new identity, name, and homeland.  If I was Rachel Roy(the suspected mistress) I would honestly go to the best plastic surgeon in the UNIVERSE, bleach my skin, go to my hair stylist and dye my hair strawberry brown , actually F that.  I would just call Saul.  Witness protection.  All. The. Way. I am going to state some facts.  The Beehive is for real.  The BEY-gency is on point.  Beyonce has 68.7 million followers on Instagram.  That is two Canada's.  That is a lot of loyal people that are buzzing for Bey.  Becky with the good hair should start dreading stat.  Pull her split-ends.  Bleach with peroxide.  I don't know change her name back to Rebecca.  They Bee-hive is worse than Zombies.  I am trembling as I type.  But here's the deal: Beyonce has an estimated net-worth of $450 million.  Jay-Z has an estimated net-worth of $650 million.  So, filliminas lets do some basic arithmetic, yes- that's a BILLION dollars.  Beyonce is not only incredibly attractive, amazingly talented, and independently wealthy, BUT she is also able to get her heart hurt.  That's right people she is just like us.  And that is what is so precious about one of the messages she conveys in Lemonade.  Sometimes people may seem like they have it all-even billionaires with two Canada's of fans, but their rapper husbands still cheat on them. And someone just hit the hive... with a bat.
Now lets talk about what she was wearing because I am from the south and I was feeling the low-country all over the place.  The white Antebellum dresses, the big puffy sleeves, the rain boots with the african print high-low dress whaaaaa? I cannot pick a favorite.  I can pick an un-favorite.  I'm just not a massive fan of athletic gear and I have never really seen her in it, so I was less than impressed with the "top" (sports bra) and "yoga pants" by Yeezy in "Don't Hurt Yourself." The fur Hood is dope by Air.  I bet she was very hot after getting so amped up, throwing some serious threats in that parking garage.   But, the mustard sensation by Peter Dundas for Roberto Cavalli in "Hold Up" had me wanting to go buy a billy bat and just get some rage out.  I mean seriously just dress up in a one of my nicest gowns and bad ass shoes which hers were Yves Saint Laurent, by the way, and walk down my street and hit some magnolias or pine cones, maybe a squirrel if I can still run in heels.  And I can only imagine me and my cha-tourage sitting on my stoop if worse came to worse, waiting on the whomever hurt---and I know one thing I would still be holding my billy club, BUT Beyonce had on this peach Rosie Assoulin off the shoulder top- maybe mine will be lavender and Chelsea Handler's Phelan top will be hunter green...Another huge favorite off the album song wise is "Sorry".  You know the song where Beyonce is lounging in a chair with Selena Williams  bopping on the side like a dog in heat.  I am not hating.  She looks real.  And Beyonce is killing it in her crystal body suit by Kuwait designer Yousef al-Jasmi.  I believe the middle finger will make a remarkable come back because of Beyonce.  This is how powerful she is.  People are going to be told to f-off through sign language alone.  Damn Becky.  Emojis were on the tipping point with their last update- well done Apple.  And last, but certainly not least the cone-bra quick- shot a la Nefertiti style by New York based Zana Bayne- an homage of sorts,  I am sure of it.  And her ball gown with the scary demon face glow- that beautiful orange geometric pouf by Lebanese designer Nicolas Jebran.  Latif Jiddaan!!!

So, I guess the question is what does a white, fashion editor, stylist, and blogger, mother of three-And yes it is very necessary I mention all of these things and I should probably add that I have long blonde hair, put lemon on everything, have never met Jay-Z, never will, and that my skin has gold tones in it kind of, that my second toe is longer than my first.  Ok, you get the point.  What do I get from Lemonade?  What would I draw from this album?  I am not an oppressed black woman.  I have not experienced adultery.  My parents are still married.  My friends kids have not been killed by something crooked in the Justice system.  But, I am a woman.  I stand up for the woman.  I stand up for the mothers.  I stand up for the grandmothers.  I'll carry you when you cannot carry yourself because you and me are no different, because we are women.  You may have been hurt, but I can watch and feel that hurt.  I can picture that hurt on me, like a dress I can try it on.  It does not take a color or creed to have empathy.  So I will not be forced into making Lemonade into something that has one vision, for one race.  I will apply it to my life.  I will listen to "Freedom" and think of me and my children and when I drop them off at pre-school I will blare the radio and sing to the top of my white fucking lungs

"Tryna rain, tryna rain on the thunder
tell the storm I'm new
Imma walk and march on the regular
Painting white flags blue
Lord forgive me, Ive been running
Running blind in truth
I'ma rain, I'ma rain on this bitter love
Tell the sweet I"m new

Freedom! Freedom! I can't move
Freedom, cut me loose
Freedom! Freedom! where are you?
Cause I need freedom too!
I break chains all by myself
Won't let my freedom rot in hell
 Hey! I'ma keep running
Cause a winner don't quit on themselves

I'ma wade, I'ma wave through the waters
Tell the tide, "don't move"
I'ma riot, I'ma riot through your borders
Call me bulletproof
Lord forgive me, I've been a running'
Runnin' blind in truth
I'ma wade, I'ma wave through your shallow love
Tell the deep I'm new

Freedom! Freedom! I can't move
Freedom, cut me loose
Freedom! Freedom! where are you?
Cause I need freedom too!
I break chains all by myself
Won't let my freedom rot in hell
Hey! I'ma keep running
Cause a winner don't quit on
themselves.

"I had my ups and downs, but I always find the inner strength to pull myself up.  I was served lemons, but I made lemonade."  Hattie White

May you all find the Hattie White in you.

Godspeed,
Cha-cha

ps. I do not know Chelsea Handler.  She is not in my "Cha-tourage".

Spring Fling Must Have Blings

Moshino heart glasses #1 must have...how do I get?

 Latest Dernier Cri*

So, recently I have sat around perusing my magazines and thinking to myself what if I could afford my essentials the way I wish I could.  I don't know about you, but sometimes my "want" list is a whole lot different than my "need" list and which one usually wins. But, a girl can dream right and if all my dreams came true these are the new items I would be shopping for. I am going to my 15th high school reunion and not to just any high school- Saint Mary's High School where I boarded for two happy years.  These are the outfits I will similarly pack.  I wish I had these actual items, but I will work it out.;) As you will see, some are totally affordable, but some will go on a wish list.  Either way as I was developing this dernier cri I did notice an outfit that is a must and totally interchangeable from below.  I would love to wear the Tibi skirt with the Rag and Bone T tucked in and the lovely baby blue pash.  I could also wear the same white t with these awesome Lilly jeans- which by the way are much more vibrant in person and have a wide waist that sits very low, below the bump!  I have tried them on and as my sweet sister was trying to secretly purchase them for me someone else snatched them up.  At least they are revered.  I stumbled upon this bag and if you can get it for yourself, may I please borrow it?  I have been dying for a Faberge Egg pendent necklace.  They are magically beautiful in person and would be the perfect piece of jewelry for Spring and Summer.  These Zara wedges would be the cherry on top for both weekend outfits and of course this sea-green Mossimo onesie and beautiful Tory Burch tunic would be the icing on the cake.  I would wear both the tunic with the skirt and belt it and the tunic with the jeans.  The tunic poolside works too, but only with these sicky sweet heart shaped sunglasses by Moshino.

$148 Lilly Pullitzer

Tibi silk skirt $330

I am going to find a baby blue pash on the street in NYC

Rag and Bone t's are the best

These "Zara" amazing!

Faberge pendent necklace...gimme

This bag is amazing- perfect for Spring/Summer

MY make up essentials have changed too, and with pregnancy mask that was recently referred to as "freckles" which I am not sure I liked either. These things make me at least feel normal.  Whether I look it or not.

This color is the color for the people.  It honestly looks good on everyone.

Cle de Peau concealer 70$ Neiman Marcus

I don't need thick, I need length mascara.  This mascara by Estee Lauder is the best for that.

Give me tunic or give me death...

Tory Burch Tunics this season have gee-org-gous textiles

Can I fit two people in you beautiful one piece?

to make me look semi normal at months 7-9 preggy
Mossimo- Target

Godspeed,

Chacha